Dear Oligarchy,
It’s been a long time coming but I think people are finally starting to catch on to all of your bullshit. The public trust in you is beginning to collapse like those cheap umbrellas you produce in China for pennies and then sell here for eight dollars when it rains and I’m forced to buy it because didn’t have the foresight to bring my own. One more strong gust of lucidity and I’m convinced the traditional belief that you know best is going to flip inside out.
We are learning that simply being in charge doesn’t necessarily qualify you to make the best decisions. In fact you’ve made a lot of really poor choices throughout history. Even though you tried to blame things like the Crusades and the Holocaust on a few bad apples, we know that it takes a lot of cooperation to accomplish nightmares of such scale and grandeur. You have been hard at work ruining things for thousands of years, albeit often with the best of intentions.
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But you don’t really know what is best for people and you need to come to terms with that. I understand that having a lot of money and power makes you think you might have it all sussed out, especially with all of the “yes sir” and “yes ma’am” you probably hear on a daily basis. It is probably difficult to have an objective view of oneself when your purebred butler puts your pants on two-legs at a time before your private chef makes you the world’s last dodo egg for breakfast. However, consider taking a step back and pausing for a long hard look in the floor-to-ceiling diamond encrusted mirror. Isn’t there a chance that you might be just as scared and stupid as the rest of humanity?
Why do you want to run the world anyway? Have you ever thought about that? Isn’t it kind of strange how much control you already have and how firmly you feel a need to keep hold of it? I’ve seen spoiled children less selfish with their favorite toy than you are with everything. You could be spending your time and money in so many more productive and enjoyable ways. Did you know that cancer still needs to be cured? There are also kids that need better access to education and entire countries of poor people. Even if you didn’t want to have some great cause, you could just enjoy yourself without screwing up everyone else’s good time. Richard Branson seems happy going on adventures, breaking world records, being a humanitarian, and is a genuinely likable billionaire. He still has influence, he still avoids paying taxes, but people don’t hate his guts. Taking that into consideration, what kind of rich person do you want to be? It might be better to be a fun loving philanthropist instead of an clueless oligarch.
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Listen, I know that you are not all anthropomorphic excrement oozing around the gilded corridors of your mansion while scheming about becoming more profitable and powerful through the the ruination of your fiefdom. I know that the worst of you don’t even realize what absolutely selfish and amoral garbage water you’ve become. Oligarchies are complex and multifaceted organizations of plutocrats, many of which are completely disconnected from reality.
In the end, it really is our fault for letting you get so out of hand. We have bought into your propaganda and allowed you to proselytize yourselves and your products nearly unchecked for far too long. We can sort of see that now. Your role in our governing bodies have held back the progress of our societies while also stripping us of some of our rights as citizens. You have made it very clear that things are changing fast and you really don’t have a taste for it. We know that you’ve softened with the times as much as you could, and even tried to evolve with the rest of humanity, but I think we’ve outgrown you. We cannot keep giving you our money to fritter away simply because you are deemed important. We cannot trust your judgement when you attempt to block our very rights to question it. We’ve changed a lot since the days of yore and it’s time we moved on. Not all of us are happy watching reality television or willing to take it lying down. It’s too late. You cannot be in charge anymore. Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.
Sorry,
You Monsters Are People
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